"No Complaining Month" - 10 August 2010

Its takes 21 days to start a Habit.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." ~Aristotle

So here I am, eager to start a "No Complain Month".
Fed up with my constant whining. Today, I decided to "Try and End the Mental Noise"
I saw an old beggar talking loudly to himself today.. and I was feeling bad, the poor guy lost it, i said to myself.
Only to realise later that the only difference between him and me, apart from the clothes was that he did it loudly and I did it in my mind.

I had a moment of "self - realisation"
Now the new definition of realisation for me it to accept that I too am quiet insane.
The only reason many people are still out and not in an asylum is that there are very few asylums and too many of us !

Ok lets start NOW.
NOW 1:27 PM 10th August.

No Complaining even about People who Complain !
Eg :
First level Cribbing : Your in laws, your husband, your mother, your maid, your aches and pains, your boss, your future worries and past pain... (Not necessary in that order !)

Second Level :
a)Body
Head ache, Back pain, neck pain, pain in the ---, tooth ache even shaking teeth, broken heart and dry skin, bad hair, slightly balding, acidity, weak bladder etc
(Beware emotions reflect in the body. Go to a doctor but dont complain. When your legs pain look at the ones who have no legs.. or just massage them... if you succeed tell me how...i havent yet !)
And I am not just saying it cause I dont experience pain, infact i am going thro immense back, rib and leg pain being in the 5th month of pregnancy. (there i did my subtle complaining !)

b)Weather : too much rain, too cold, too hot, too humid, too dry...hey u have no other choice other than earth. So accept it !Unless you have a space ship and plans to go to another planet.
Understand weather, dont curse the sun and the rain, respect these great phenomenons of nature.

Third Level: Religion, Politics, Terrorism, Poverty etc... (This level of complaining is done by the slightly "e"volved generation... and can be quiet devolving !)
Personally this was and is my favorite topic of complaining.
I love talking on how the government should change, how to eradicate poverty, how to accept all religions and then find it difficult or impossible to go out of my way to help a beggar, forgive my own family members .... or even be polite !
I havent fed a hungry person for days... and I wont talk unless I prove by my actions that i care and not simply talk mumbo-jumbo philosophy with a full stomach and an empty heart !

Wow, you will say I am mad, lost it...well one of those articles etc..
I know i havent practised half of what i am typing, but then this blog is an inspiration to start,,, and a reminder ...
If I cant do something immediately , i cant atleast STOP COMPLAINING

You will say, what will happen to all the conversations, newspapers, the evening news, breaking news etc etc...
I am not saying be happy or bear up with injustice. Fake a tolerant Smile, it wont last. Instead "do something or communicate with love, else stay silent"

Stop breeding negativity, watch your feelings change to situations which cause irritation and choose between the following

We have two options as humans :
1. Take Action.
(Ok, not hasty action. THINK before you DO, dont DO and then THINK)
Doing and then Thinking is a serious symptom of insanity !
And what is THINK. (Not just too much mental clutter)
This is a small excercise , ask yourself 5 questions:
1. Is it "TRUE", what I am experiencing/ feeling, or what I am going to say, or is my ego hurt.
2.Is it "HELPFUL" or HURTFUL? Can I do without reacting and allow the situation to settle, will my giving opinion help the person or Hurt the Person. If you must communicate, do it with love. even medicines are coated with sugar.
3.Is it "Inspiring"?
4.Is it "Necessary"? Or is it a moment of outburst?
5.Is it "Kind"? Would you like to be a receiver of what you are going to do or say or give.
Remember the earth is round for a purpose... what goes around, come around.

Every Advantage in Life has another side. Every day has a night... so why call , daytime advantage time and night disadvantage. Everything is needed.

You may enjoy dancing in the rain, but when you slip and fall, get up gracefully, still singing to the tune as you limp away... !

2.if Action not Possible:

a) Just move away from the situations. Excuse yourself gracefully. (However what you resist , persists, so they may follow you till you are done with the learning !)
But its better to walk away gracefully rather than stay in places of high drama just for the thrill.
And at times we prefer staying in places of high drama and energy , after all we do enjoy action movies and dramas (if you like it, stay there but remember you could get tempted to lose your peace !)
Else excuse yourself to go to the loo, drink water..I usually use the excuse of my weak bladder !!

b)If you cant move away from the situation watch your mental activity. Watch how the mind labels and judges the person based on his/her talk opinions.
Then talk to your MIND. (You can give a name to your mind, my mind name is Mindy... I will use the mantra : hey Mindy, dont get all windy)

Stop Judging, Start Understanding. Even yourself.
Watch the person grumble, mumble and then fall quiet when you dont respond. The person might just get angry with you for not responding... I used to get upset when people didnt respond to my negativity.....

When questions are asked, " What do you think" and the other wants you to agree with their negative feelings, Start with a long "Hmmmmm", well i really cant say but i cant understand how you feel. But I think you should not really worry too much as it will affect you adversely."
Else Sneeze, cough, fart...

Its all about Attitude, Have a grateful attitude,,, External Conditions may not change or may even get worse but your Soul for sure will learn to emerge, emerge, like the sun out of the clouds, a rainbow out of the blue, a butterfly out of a crawling catepillar..

And to help you cope with the deficiency of negative thoughts which might cause a little temporary depression, frustration and even boredom. Lets add some Humor to Life.
Laughter is the Best Medicine..

Complaining or rather venting out feelings to your close friends helps at times.

But remember to share feelings with those who really care and wont take pleasure in your misfortune and would not want a share in your fortune. I mean the true givers and not the spice vendors.
Choose your friends well. They are blessings in disguise.. I feel our friends are a great treasure, Angels, we can share our souls with. I am glad I have one : )..

The only one on this planet who knows this blog exsists ! Tina ofcourse !

So if you must complain, choose someone who you can trust complaining with and know by the end of the conversation you will say

" No, ya but we are better off than others" and then laugh it out.. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats healthy complaining !

Too much complaining to, too many people can be like mixing drinks. You could have a serious hangover the next day.
Have a glass of wine, or a nice drink to enjoy.
But like anything excess leads to a mess.
Be moderate to enjoy abundance !

Thats all , i am getting faint typing !

!! LOL !!

PS. I haven't done a spell check ! The more mistakes you find in this blog will tell you how much of a complainer you are !

0-5 : Poor complainer... thats good !

5-10 : Average complainer... still within healthy limits

10-above, join the "no complaining month" and start a laughter riot.

Love

Shradha : )