A new me !

14th July 2010.

A new me .. I'm going to be a mommy !
Wow, its huge for me as I thought I would never be.
This was my biggest fear, I dont know why ..and here I am almost 4 months pregnant.
The fear I had, kept me from doing many a things ...and it made me lose peace...
Now i am so happy that I am going to be a mommy !

Thank God "The Law of Attraction" didnt work.
I always imagined myself alone and single..
But, Thank God, (yes I am happy in knowing there exists a Superior Power, and I am done with the proud and confident yet lonely me, who thought that she could manage it all, only to cry helplessly when all my efforts to sort my mind failed)

Today,
I beleive in the Power of Humility and not the Force of Pride.
I beleive that the labor of suffering, tolerance and sacrifice do bring fruits worthwhile.
I am convinced that simplicity is far more beautiful and mysterious than complexity..
And thats why God, a simple concept, helps us accepts and deal with all situations.
The feeling of Love & the feelings of Gratitude, forgiveness, bring tears to eyes..
The mind can be controlled by prayer and worship.

Going back from "The best international New Age spiritual books" to age old religious beliefs.


Many new age writers say, "Why pray"? "God will give you what you need if you believe in his love"?
And at the same time they say, "Dont have any desires or fears"
Is it possible not to have desires & fears in human form? Its like telling a catepillar not to crawl cause one day you will fly.. Thats what New Age writers tell humans(catepillars) to behave like butterflies.... Well, they are right in many ways, but they make the journey look blue. Whereas religion brings colors of warmth in gloomy days and hope of a rainbow after every cloudy and rainy day...
When things are going our way, we proudly say that we have overcome the world.
We forget prayer and become over confident ... We become the "know it all type of people"
So why pray?
The purpose of prayer cannot be to inform God of what our needs are. God, after all, gave us those needs in the first place.
The true understanding of prayer is simple yet deeply profound.
It’s not that God wants us to pray in order to get what we need. Rather it’s that God gave us our needs in order that we should pray. Prayer is not the means, it's the end in itself.
As times we feel, we know it all.
Do we really beleive that , "God is the Infinite Source of existence -- our loving Father who is the Truth and all powerful."
Or are we too proud and take every miracle for granted, with a feeling we deserve it or have earned.
Lack of something and loss of pride, hurts your ego, and you feel its better to die than live. When you experience a trapped situation where you cant understand the purpose
And that time when we fall on our knees and enter the presence of God in peace , humility and brokenness, we feel so complete ..
The request itself intrinsically creates a bond with the Almighty. Irrespective of His answer, it is that bond which is the ultimate goal of prayer.... And thus we go ahead in life, and live each day in faith, hope and harmony...
We can then accept and be at peace with any life situation, once we become still in prayer.

I thank my husband who has inspired me a lot... His ways made me change mine and today we walk the same path, hand in hand, which leads to God.
No matter waht happens or doesn't , our love and God's plan for us will only blossom.
Like a flower that turns to a fruit, I believe that love will take us through..
Through seasons of life and various hues, we will emerge through..
Each day we will walk and share, as we await our gift from God.